Fun & Jokes
| Listen Carefully |
| An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mummy told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs." |
| Angel Gabriel & Nigeria |
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Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. I have some Nigerians up here in Heaven who are causing some problems. They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, Maggi sauce and Ogbono soup are all over their robes; hamhocks. Isi-ewu, Cow-feet and Bokoto bones are all over the streets of Gold; some folk are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are beer bottles all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit with their hairstyles." The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil." The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? What the....!, hold on one minute." The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?" The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there." The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold. After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?" The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't belieee.....hold on, Lord". This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. These Nigerians put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!!" |
| PIDGIN VERSION OF PSALM 23 |
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1. Oga Godde na u be mai shepherd I dey kamkpe 2.He make mi sidon for where betta dey flow Come put me next to stream make mai bodi Thermacool. 3.He panel beat mai soul come spray am white, come dey lead me dey go through express road of righteousness for sake of Hin name. 4.Walahi!, if I waka pass where arm robber, 419 and juju people borku, come even join okada reach valley of the shadow of death sef, mai bodi dey inside cloth. Your rod and staff nko? Na so dem dey back like bone dey comfort me. 5.You don prepare Banga and starch make I chop. All mai enemies dey look anyaa. You rub me for head wit Vaseline Intensive Lotion. Mai cup na Ogunpa wey come overflow. 6.True true, betta life and mercy go cum mai back till I quench. And man go tanda for God house sotey sotey from Lai lai to lai lai. GOD ALMIGHTY, NA YOU BIKO. AMIN! |